Bottom of the Boom Chicka Pop Bag

On election night 2024, I sat at my kitchen table watching the results on the big screen as I nervously nibbled. As it became clear that Kamala Harris was losing and Donald Trump was winning, I sought emotional support by way of a Costco massive-sized bag of Boom Chicka Pop. As the night continued into the wee morning hours, I continued to nibble and watch hoping to find a different result at the bottom of that bag.

But we all know how well that turned out.

I don't often cry.  However when I finally lay my head down on my pillow early that following morn, the tears did flow.  I cried for the people I love who I knew would be afraid.  I cried in anger about what we knew would happen next - after all, I actually read the authoritarian playbook called Project 2025. I cried for the future of this nation.  And I cried because I knew that we were in for several harrowing years.

These past two years have been challenging for Americans  Life has often felt exhausting.  And at the same time, I realize that I have allowed watching "what is" and worrying about "what might be" to replace the habits that steady me. Meditation, breath work, whole food plant-based meals, moving my body, Reiki...

and I realize I have been holding my breath. 

• Waiting for the midterms. 
• Waiting for "it" to happen.
• Living two miles from a local airport from which ICE deports.
• Holding my tongue as it does not feel safe to exercise my 1st Amendment rights.  

And the kicker?  I teach conscious leadership and Ayurvedic pillars of health professionally.   I understand how to access the Law of Attraction and why the Law of Allowing is so important.  So, baby, I KNOW that I have not been living the best version of myself.

I believe that naming where we are is the  first step in change.

Sometimes life has to feel hard enough that we just can't ignore it before we make changes.  For me, it was the sciatica pain.  Holy shit, batman.  (IYKYK)  The lack of sleep and the constant pain drove me to stop, take the time and locate a physical therapist.  As part of my treatment plan, my PT gently reminded me of the effect the mind and breath have on one's nervous system.  Incorporating movements which reset the nervous system daily has made all of the difference.  Much of my pain has eased as I reincorporate breathwork, meditation, Qigong and movement into my daily routine.  

I still feel anger.  It pops up when I see a headline or when someone informs me of the latest horrific thing he/this administration has done.  However I value my connection to Source and to my community more.  I know that I would want to lead consciously from love, acceptance, and recognition that "this too, shall pass".

Many of my friends and colleagues seem to have found their way back to a happier, healthier mindset sooner than I did. I believe I needed to hit a rock bottom of sorts.

For me, it was sciatica. I had stopped moving my body, stopped tending to the practices that steady me, and lived with frustration and stress simmering beneath the surface.  My choices created conditions in my body that I could no longer ignore. The pain got a firm hold on my attention when nothing else would.

My hope is that I’ve learned my lesson: to lean into my connection with Source, knowing that the universe is rearranging itself in my best interest at all times. To remember that Universal life force energy flows to us and through us- all day, every day. And to remember that when I positively expect exceptional outcomes, it becomes easier for them to manifest in my reality.

What if this collective moment is cracking us open in ways we cannot yet see?

What if we could be grateful for it?

What might that change about how we live through it and who we become on the other side?

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I’m still finding my way back, and I know I’m not the only one. If you’ve drifted from something that helps you feel like yourself, maybe beginning again is your next step. If you’re looking for a listening ear or a shoulder as you bounce back, reach out. I’ve got you.